Thursday, February 21, 2008

new verse to metal queen

"My Highland, Metal-heavy Queen"

"She's from that high, high land,
where the land's so high
a Scot's-Jew banker
couldn't pay for the ride.

She's my metal-heavin' queen,
my lost love, so full of steam.
She's my metal-heavy queen,
Got the corn-uh on da market
her commodity, a dream.

Platinum, gold, silver and brass
her commodity's a dream
metal queen, ain't gotta ask
she's got da metal for da takin
she's a metal-heavin' dream,

oh my love,
my metal-heavy dream
she got the molten metal steam
that gal's my metal-heavy queen.

Her arse is like an ingot,
a mold fer freezin' steel.
so globular with ringlets,
of hair that makes you reel.

And so I go on dancin',
and playin' my guitar -
for that arse that waits me yonder
molten, sticky (just like tar).

She's my luva-luva,
my metal-heavy dream!
when that arse of hers starts firin'
watch out! Your head is full of steam.

And so I go on uh-dancin',
and playing my gueetar,
fer if I did stop dancin'
she'd fire like a 'splodin' star!

She's a metal heavin' dream,
a heavin' metal queen
but if her arse starts firing [barely audible]
it'll kill ya, you'll be creamed [inaudible - the kids will have to really pump up the volume on this one]

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

WOW...2, in ONE month!!!

It's a new "record", boys. So good to hear from "ma famile"...


You'll never believe what hoppened Ace! Fulke showed up once more.

Seems someone down there in your "Alabamie" caught up with him. Some hunter or something.

Anyhow, the dude had this device called a "Garamen". Yes! Apparently it can tell you where you are, no matter where you are, or what "state" you are in.

(It told him he was in Alabama!).

I'm so happy he found out, for it is always good to know where you are.

Anyhow, we got a text message from Fulke, that in long and short, reads as follows:

"Dear lads...I'm departing the God-given state of old Alabamie in route for "jaw-gia". I should be in this never-never land called "Hotlanta" very soon. They've "loaded" me (how I wish I were...loaded, that is, on something other than petrol fumes) on a great choking behemouth known by local venacular as "thu Gray - Hound".

I should be arriving in Hotlanta momentarily (if, that is, this two-bit so-and-so laying on my shoulder does not awake in her drug-induced nightmare to slice my jugulars -- eeeks, she's horrendous! And, Gad, how she reeks. Worse than my kilt on its worst night. How's it doing, by the way. Growing a little weary of wearing these damned, infernal "Sweat pants" they were so kind to loan me at the hospice in downtown Birmingham. What a nice bunch (even if they are Brits)).

At any rate, I think I'll muddle through.

Looking forward to re-connecting with the band.

Please, if I may time I "hook up", extend the courtesy of allowing me to decide when to "de-kilt"...apparently Sally-Soo was really "hung up" on kilts. Had nothing to do with me when she witnessed the altogether Fulke (naturally: you know I've never had complaints). Fortunate for me as she was most likely NOT the marrying type (and you know I'm saving myself for Ms. RIGHT).

At any rate, grease up the mandolin, boys. Shall be a hot, hot time in Hotlanta, very soon!

Yours faithfully,


Well CUZ, hope you'll post this to our fannies page. Always yours and faithful,


Well folks, that's about all I can contribute to the lad's comings and goings.

(Don't tell the lads, but I got better things to do with my time than being their go-between).

Hope the fans will keep the home fires burning (and send any reports of my family's "aspirations"; God knows, I'm living on the edge and praying every night for their timely "deliverance").


Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Fulke's Mandolin


I finally tracked down Fulke's axe - it took a while since all I had to go on was SEV's email from Pete that said he was pickin' a "Snyder". Anyway, this is a bitchin' guitar. Check it out! I bet he slings it over his back when he does that cabar bit in between sets.

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Rippin' e-mail from Angus


SEV here. Just got a rippin note from Angus from the road. What a guy!

Can't wait to hear the lads hammer and drive those broadsword lyrics of theirs in thumpin' good measure.


We only just pulled in to some town called "Rome". The driver tells us it is in your state called "jaw-ja" (apologies for the spelling, cuz...never my forte like you - dang'ed ol' gene pool).

Anyhow, we're looking forward to the upcoming gig. Should be a real ripper.

Our electric mandolin player finally got lucky. Last night in Birmingham he hooked up with a real doll. We haven't seen him since, but we do have his kilt hangin on the arial of the bus. Making quite a rip, and peoples know we are in town (never have painted the bus).

I'm certain we'll hear from Fulke soon. You know how he is...liable to go walk-about any time.

You know any mandolin players available? Surely with your family up in Kentucky? We need a stand-by in case Fulke decides to one day make one of his diversions permanent.

I just hope he rembers Hot-lanta this coming Friday (and that Birmingham has an airport).

Well, back to the road, cuz.

You should join us!

-your ever-luvin cuz,

Actually, my couin in Kentuck who could play the mandolin, got his arm caught in a combine. Ruined the combine, and his whole arm and shoulder are in a cast for the next six months, so if anyone knows someone who can play an ELECTRIC mandolin...please pass it along.

2007 Tour

Hey Nessies,

I just got a call from my cousin Pete, who said he got ahold of the tour schedule. Inverness is going to open in Atlanta, but the date is not set. All they know for certain right now is that it's being run through Drummer Entertainment and South-South Promotions, and they're going to play some big parks. The tour is supposed to kick off in June and the US leg is supposed to last until August. Then their supposed to do the European leg and then Asia. Keep your eyes on the site for more info!!!

Blog Site Up!

As Angus would say "This site is up and thumpin!", and then he'd tear off a killer riff. Anyway, here we are and so far it's just me. But the legions of Inverness fans will be here soon. Hold on to your tartan!